Stuff Liberals and Conservatives Like, Vol. 2

Sorry, I’m having too much fun with this list to give it up just yet. Besides, it’s a slow news week; everyone must be on vacation except me. We’ll return to full-bodied prose with my next post.

                                                              Liberals Like:                 Conservatives Like:

Bird:                                                    dove                                        bald eagle

Cheese:                                               brie                                         Velveeta

Patriotic Song:                                “If I Had a Hammer”         “Over There”

Movie Genre:                                   indie documentaries        World War II epics

Exemplary English Person:       John Lennon                        Margaret Thatcher

Examplary Catholic:                    Bobby Kennedy                   the Virgin Mary

Exemplary Gay Person:              David Sedaris                       Alexander the Great

Exemplary Dictator:                    Castro                                      Mussolini       

Classic Talk Show:                         Dick Cavett                             Johnny Carson  

Classic Sitcom:                                “All in the Family”              “All in the Family”

Sex Position:                                    oral                                            missionary

Artist:                                                 Andy Warhol                         Norman Rockwell

Minor Holiday:                               Martin Luther King  Day   Veteran’s Day

Jazz Singer:                                      Billie Holiday                          Al Jolson

Roosevelt:                                        Franklin                                    Theodore

Confederate Hero                          N/A                                            Stonewall Jackson

Founding Father:                          Abigail Adams                        George Washington

Architectural Style:                     modern                                      McMansion

Designer:                                          Versace                                      L. L. Bean

Composer:                                        Leonard Bernstein                Richard Wagner

Classic Author                                N/A                                             N/A

American Villain:                          Nixon                                         Obama*

*Status as an American has not been sufficiently proven.