Skip to content

Birth Control

Righty: The Good Lord counseled us to “be fruitful and multiply,” and His wisdom is good enough for me. Birth control is an unnatural disruption of the human life cycle. Even worse, I think it’s a symptom of cultural narcissism: snooty urban yuppies don’t want anything as depressingly mundane as babies to keep them from dining out at their fancy restaurants. Look at what’s happening in Western Europe, where the native populations are surrendering their future to the hordes of Muslims who reproduce like fruitflies in their midst. And why? Because Europeans are so enamored of their cushy lifestyles that they’ve balked at the strenuous task of raising offspring. Listen up, America! I see the same pattern emerging here, among our own middle class. Get busy and start reproducing — unless, of course, you’re comfortable with the idea of living in the Estados Unidos thirty years from now. But what do you care? Your children won’t have to live there — because YOU WON’T HAVE ANY!

Lefty: Whoa there, Righty! Your racism is exceeded only by your chronic ignorance. Having children should be a matter of personal choice, and optional birth control is the most effective means to that end. Furthermore, your stance on birth control (and the Catholic Church’s, for that matter) should win some kind of award for environmental irresponsibility. How can you continue to fight birth control when this overcrowded planet will be running out of resources before the end of this century? Forget about white Americans and Europeans versus Muslims and Hispanics. The issue is whether our primitive biological need to create more and more people in our image is going to lead us to a nightmare scenario of famines, global deforestation and mass extinctions. And who’s going to suffer most? Precisely the people you fear and despise, Righty: Hispanics, Muslims and other Third-World peoples whose expanding populations will soon overwhelm the earth’s ability to support them. The Church, especially, deserves to be excommunicated from the human community for its willfully reactionary, disastrous and ultimately evil (yes, evil!) prohibition of simple birth control methods that could save our planet from ruin.

The New Moderate:

Such intense heat emanating from the right and left can mean only one thing: the answer lies in the middle. The New Moderate believes, with Lefty, that the Church has no divine right to prohibit a practice that was never mentioned, let alone condemned, in the Bible. (And don’t quote us the story about Onan and his seed; if you’re going to adhere to the literal dictates of every Bible verse, you’re also required to stone the nearest adulterer and renounce pork forever.) The Church must wake up and see that unlimited human reproduction is going to severely compromise the quality of life on this smallish planet of ours.

That said, we also share Righty’s concern that the middle classes of Europe and America are going to contracept themselves into extinction if they don’t show a little more enthusiasm for procreating. Having a kid is the ultimate life-affirming gesture. The creation and nurturing of a unique little person is one of life’s most richly rewarding pursuits, even if it tends to crowd out the occasional restaurant meal or midnight movie.

The moderate solution, simply stated: poor people around the world need to start using birth control; middle-class people need to use it a little less. Of course our solution sounds racist, classist and all that (go ahead, Lefty; heap your infamy upon us!). But we’re merely attempting to create some needed balance: a little more restraint from those who are currently overpopulating their lands to their own detriment, and a little more lusty abandon on the part of the fading bourgeoisie, whose continued presence is vital to the survival of Western civilization (or what’s left of it).

Summary: Poor people need to practice birth control more; middle class people need to practice it less.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Taliesin Knol permalink
    January 6, 2010 4:10 am

    Race Wars! “The minorities are having more kids they can’t afford to educate so in response I should too” Righty. Too many cooks spoils the broth. Too many people spoil the whole freakin’ world! Just because your religion wants you to make more “Christian Soldiers” doesn’t mean it’s a rational idea. Besides, bad parents can mess up their children. “But controling my right to be stupid is anti-American” then I’m leaving…

  2. Dianne permalink
    November 28, 2010 1:11 pm

    If you want birth control used more, make it free and available. The same problem with spay and neuter of dogs and cats. Where there is free or cheap spay/neuter there are fewer strays and the shelters are not swamped with unwanted animals. Where spay/neuter is expensive there are packs of roving dogs, feral cats and overwhelmed shelters. Sorry to compare people to dogs/cats but the overpopulation issue is the same. People who do not have contraceptives have too many children and those who do have contraceptives do not have too many children. Solution: Give birth control to everyone FREE. Our planet needs the population growth to stop now.

  3. Cindy permalink
    September 1, 2011 9:35 pm

    Guess what. I never wanted kids (and now menopausal thank God). Many of my friends never wanted kids. In fact over 20% of couples aren’t having kids. So you think I’ve missed out on life? Not a bit. Do I hate kids. Not at all. Would I have been a good parent. No way. But I guess I should have raised some miserable children just because you think more middle class babies will solve the problem. Bottom line. Another place it’s none of your business whether people have kids or not. Their choice. I support those who want them and I support those who don’t. I think you are WAY less “centrist” than you think.

  4. Cindy permalink
    September 1, 2011 9:38 pm

    Oh, and I have made many many more “life affirming gestures” than people I know who didn’t really want kids but had them anyway. Abuse, neglect, rampant sexual abuse….of course not all families are like that…but the healthy ones are the ones who had kids because it was true to who they were. The ones who don’t have kids because it’s true to who they are in spite of a sick culture that thinks it should get to force everyone to have kids are also life affirming. What about the concept of quality, not quantity??

  5. September 2, 2011 11:30 pm

    Cindy: You make perfectly reasonable arguments here, believe me. See my response to your comments under “White People,” which covers pretty much the same ground. My concern is about future demographics, not individual choices.

  6. Ami permalink
    November 7, 2011 11:44 am

    Cindy couldn’t have said it better…ditto…ditto…ditto……we have separation of church and state in this country. Simply put…people should curb their god. If they want to have a plethora kids, go ahead as long as THEY can afford to support them. If NOT, DON’T….and don’t expect the rest of us to put them on the government dole. Likewise, I don’t want anyone going around telling me or anybody else to pop one out every other year because that what “God wants”. Since when did God come down and put anyone PERSONALLY on a mission?? As far as anyone “contracepting themselves into extinction”, that’s FINE BY ME. That’s what people are SUPPOSED to do if they are unwilling and/or unable to raise kids. We live, we die and when God or science decides to destroy this planet, that’s what will happen whether we like it or not.

  7. Surprise permalink
    April 6, 2012 2:19 am

    Wow! Mr. Bayan, have you ever kicked a hornet’s nest.

    I’m a liberal, pro-choice until viability, pro-military (especially the navy), pro-U.S. Constitution, pro-keynesian, pro-environmental stewardship, anti-unfettered capitalism, agnostic woman without children, AND I think it would be very good if those (particularly women) with more resources and education were to have a few more children, and those with less education and less resources were to have a few less. Now, mind you, I completely realize the hypocrisy of a childless educated woman stating that other childless women, and particularly those with resources, should raise more kids. But, it is what it is.

    Right now in our country there is movement that wants to restore full-blown patriarchy to our shores. And not the role restricting, sexist gender structures of the Mad Men series , but the old testament patriarchal system in which men are encouraged to create multi-generational dynasties through having as many children as their wives’ wombs will bear. Women in this lovely set-up are “consecrated” to their homes in their roles as wives and mothers, prohibited from attending college, forbidden birth control, and pledge unconditional submissiveness to first their fathers, and then their husbands. These people have lots of children (the Duggars with nineteen children and counting are representative), and, unlike the Amish, they vote in local, state, and national elections. They’re associated with the Advanced Training Institute/Vision Forum homeschooling and Quiverfull movement. Here’s a link to more info about it: http://www.widewhite.org/2010/09/cult-of-quiverfull-ati-vision-forum/

    Compare that vision to the vision of those on the left, center, or even moderate right: amongst my own family (which is mostly center right to conservative, with a few liberals thrown in), my grandparents had 10 children, my parents had 4, my three sisters had 2-3 children apiece (I had none), and of my 7 nephews and nieces, who are all approaching 30, only 2 are married, and only 1 has a child.

    People of more moderate persuasion, those of the non-patriarchal, multi-generational dynasty bent, whether they be left, right or center, need to be producing more children to offset the profound fecundity of Vision Forum. I’d be on board for a national PR campaign to encourage educated people of means to have at least 3-4 children.

    At the same time, birth control should be available and free or low-cost to people of low-income so they can plan or prevent pregnancies that might impede their careers or earning potential. Of course, as a liberal, I also believe that we need to institute economic policies that allow an average family of 3-4 to survive on a single income.

  8. Lynn permalink
    October 20, 2013 11:03 am

    I am a strong supporter of birth control and have made alot of enemies in my lifetime because of it. Let me start by saying that I was born on the very day abortion was legalized. Which I was constantly reminded of by my mother who repeatedly said if abortion had been legal I would not be here. Thus I have a split opinion of abortion. However I am a firm supporter of birthcontrol because of it. I believe that access to free and effective birth control is a wonderful way to move our society forward. No child should have to bear the burden of knowing their family is suffering economically because their parents could not afford birth control.
    The spay/neuter programs in our country are a wonderful example of how we can improve lives through controlling the population. I think they should be expanded to cover people. Obviously this is a very controversial topic and where I lose alot of support. However, if a family cannot afford to support itself and relies solely upon the government to care for its daily needs and has more children to increase it’s income from government programs (such is the case in the area where I live) we as a society need to stand up and put a stop to this legacy. I suggest mandatory sterilization of lifetime welfare recipients as a solution. Many people I realize wil have strong opposition to this proposal be it religious or otherwise. My response is simple if you want the freedom to choose take responsibility of yourself and your family and you will have any choice you wish.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 161 other followers

%d bloggers like this: