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Hit List

The New Moderate’s Hit List

A roster of extremists and other wanton contributors to social discord.

Don’t worry, we’re not planning to take out any of our adversaries. We even respect their right to their opinions. But we reserve the right to chastise them for escalating the general rancor in our culture. 

  • Abe Foxman and the Anti-Defamation League – A little too eager to brand renegade thinkers as anti-Semites… a little too hypocritical when they collaborated with the Turkish government to suppress recognition of the Armenian genocide.
  • academic Marxists – If you’re a scholar at a major university, you dispute their beliefs at your own peril. A blight on academia for the last half century.
  • Affirmative Action – They don’t dare call it “reverse discrimination.”
  • al-Qaeda – Fanatical assassins whose primary victims are the impressionable Muslim boys who  join their ranks.
  • Ann Coulter -  Argumentative, self-intoxicated, long-legged right-wing  pundit and pin-up girl.
  • bilingualism in the U.S. – Did anyone ask us to vote on whether we wanted Spanish as our second lanaguage? Well,  here it is anyway.
  • Bill O’Reilly - “Fair and balanced” the way fool’s gold is gold.
  • celebrities as aristocracy – They might live in palaces, but they’re really selfless liberals at heart… right?
  • CEO incomes – Sorry, but not even God deserves to earn 100 times more than the president of the United States.
  • Democrats - Former friends to burly white laboring men; now the party of well-heeled women, gays and people of color. Go figure.
  • Dick Cheney – The malignant tumor that killed the Bush presidency.
  • euphemisms – Proof that you can put lipstick on a pig and convince the people that it’s not a pig.
  • extreme feminists – They hate men, they hate femininity, and they never shut up.
  • [fill in the blank] Studies departments – Propaganda mills of, by and for special-interest fanatics who simply want to confirm their prejudices for academic credit.
  • gangsta rap – Sure, let’s glorify pimps, thugs and everything else that’s wrong with ghetto life.
  • George W. Bush – ‘Nuff said.
  • Glenn Beck – Formerly a funny and insightful radio and TV personality, he quickly morphed into a rabid right-wing demagogue after Obama won the presidency.
  • golden parachutes – Massive fortunes as a reward for massive incompetence.
  • Grover Norquist – This unelected Republican ayatollah has the power to make moderate GOP politicians quake if they don’t sign his “voluntary” tax pledge.
  • guns – Of course we shouldn’t ban them; maybe we need to ban bullets instead.
  • Hamas – Anti-Israel terrorists enshrined as government potentates by the Palestinian people.
  • hedge fund managers - Financial magicians who make a few phone calls to benefit their rich clients and drop a cool billion into their own bank accounts. The rest of us can eat cake. Who said the French aristocracy was dead?
  • Hezbollah - Anti-Israel terrorists who’d like to be enshrined as government potentates in Israel.
  • Holocaust denial – A posthumous slap in the face for the victims of a colossal hate crime.
  • Holocaust denial regarded as a crime - A slap in the face of free speech.
  • HuffPost – Official organ of the Hollywood left.
  • Hugo Chavez – Hey, somebody needed to be the new Castro.
  • ideologues - Obscure humorless zealots who fulfill themselves by regurgitating the ideas of famous humorless zealots.
  • illegal immigrants – They don’t speak English. They don’t pay taxes. But they know how to multiply.
  • Iranian government – The brutal medieval overlords of a modern Islamic people.
  • Islamic Europe – A nightmarish house of the future dominated by guests who won’t leave.
  • jihadists – They just need to take up a nice hobby, like stamp collecting.
  • Keith Olbermann – Self-important liberal pundit who seems to believe he’s more “fair and balanced” than those “fair and balanced” conservative pundits on Fox.
  • liberal elitists — A clan of “progressives” who typically send their kids to private school so they won’t have to consort with the offspring of unwashed conservative riff-raff.
  • libertarians – Superior people shouldn’t have to abide by everyone else’s rules, right?
  • lingering racism – Why you see so few black faces at the dinner parties thrown by white liberals.
  • lobbyists - Political pimps who lead our congressmen to perdition.
  • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - Makes George W. Bush look like a model of moderation, intellect and refinement. Maybe that’s why the Bush administration tolerated his regime.
  • Michael Moore – Amusing but willfully slanted leftist documentarian and gadfly whose populist diatribes find a ready audience among Chardonnay-sipping progressives.
  • Michele Bachmann - Embodies everything nutty and dangerous about the burgeoning right flank of today’s GOP.
  • moderate Muslims – Why pick on the moderates? Only for their deafening silence. Get a voice, my friends – we need to hear from you!
  • Noam Chomsky - What part of “3000 innocent 9/11 victims” didn’t you understand, Prof. Smartypants?
  • oil interests – Who’d have guessed, 150 years ago, that our government would someday be plunging us into wars to defend underground deposits of flammable grease?
  • Patriot Act – Orwell would have enjoyed a grim chuckle over this warped euphemism.
  • political correctness – Liberals trying hard not to offend anyone except believers in free speech.
  • preemptive war – Do unto others as you suspect they might eventually do unto you if you don’t do it unto them first. Or something like that.
  • pro-choice fanatics – Hey, dummies… abortion is an ethical issue, not a women’s rights issue.
  • pro-life fanatics – Hey, dummies… abortion is an ethical issue, not a religious issue.
  • quotas – Let me get this straight: if blacks make up 13% of the U.S. population, does that mean the NBA has to be 13% black? Didn’t think so.
  • Rachel Maddow (a.k.a. MadCow) – Fearlessly fighting those evil right wingers with relentless sarcasm, contempt, and a questionably earned superiority complex.
  • reparations for African Americans - I thought we  fought a bloody Civil War to atone for slavery. Not good enough? Well, then… do folks who never owned slaves really owe folks who never served as slaves? Still not good enough? OK, if I give you my money, will you stop hating me? Didn’t think so.
  • Republicans – In your heart, you know they’re reactionaries.
  • Rev. Al Sharpton – Never misses an opportunity to play the race card or show off his coiffure.
  • Richard Dawkins – Thinks all believers are idiots… but what does God think of him?
  • Rush Limbaugh – Supreme bloviator of right-wing radio.
  • Sarah Palin - Feisty folk-goddess of the Tea Party rebellion; a down-home charmer whose every utterance  drives a deeper wedge between the  guns-and-God people and everyone else.  
  • Sean Hannity – Just your typical patriotic Irish-American neighbor with an 8-figure income; notable for convincing average working stiffs that Wall Street, corporate America and big-money lobbyists are on their side.
  • subprime mortgages – The fatal crack in the great dam of capitalism.
  • suppression of free speech – A tool used by authoritarian regimes to quash dissent, as practiced in Russia, China and American universities.
  • Tea Party – An angry far-right grassroots movement that made the Republican party unsafe for moderates.
  • terrorists - Murdering  innocent people really wins public sympathy for your cause, doesn’t it?
  • the TalibanFather Knows Best, Muslim-style.
  • The Weekly Standard – Why not give it a more descriptive name, like The Neocon Bible?
  • the world since 2001 – Makes the Great Depression look like a Sunday picnic.
  • unions - Catalyst for change in the annals of labor. The most recent change: over-the-top wage demands that drove U.S. businesses to ship all their manufacturing jobs overseas.
  • Vladimir Putin – Looks as if he could twist the head off a live chicken without batting his eyelashes.
  • Wall Street bankers – Let’s all give them a round of applause before we set fire to their mansions.

Copyright 2009-12 by Rick Bayan.

38 Comments leave one →
  1. Dudah permalink
    July 20, 2009 9:56 pm

    LOL so much so true so good – (-:

  2. July 22, 2009 11:04 pm

    Thanks, Dudah. This page gave me a chance to let it all out.

    • Gail Wiesner permalink
      November 2, 2012 12:40 pm

      Rick: I know a lot of this is meant to be humorous, but a good bit of the language in the list is of the ilk that escalates the general rancor. To posters: cursing and denigrating those who have right or left wing views are only going to put you in the same “radical” or
      “crazies” group. Influencing people starts with understanding their point of view as much as possible. While there are some who will never change, absolutely no one will be changed by attack, and we need to change as many people as possible. (at least to make them actually think instead of parroting what they hear form some self-serving public figure)

      • November 5, 2012 7:09 am

        I’m not him, but you make a remarkably good point Gail.

        Thinking about it, is it really the mark of a “moderate” to be railing and denigrating as much as the partisan types? I assumed that’s part of what being a moderate, even a radical one, was all about avoiding.

      • November 12, 2012 4:38 pm

        Oh, I know I do my share of sniping on this page, but even moderates need a safety valve for letting off steam. This page is my safety valve.

      • June 11, 2013 6:02 pm

        Right on, Gail Now where can we find a truly moderate party without the radicals, one that spells out just what would be ideal is all cases. Until then, I just vote with my heart on each politician and each situation. Certainly not an ideal way to approach it, but what other avenues do we have.

      • Move forward, not back, Raleigh permalink
        April 30, 2014 9:25 am

        Yeah Gail. We should always try to consider other people’s point of view. Except when it comes to their views on home ownership. You are causing hundreds of thousands of dollars to be wasted by a man trying to build a beautiful home across the street from you. People like you should be chastised and thrown out of society. Mind your own business and stop hurting other people that have worked tirelessly on planning and building a home in your neighborhood. It is extremely closed minded to have done what you did in Raleigh and I hope people rise up and decide to blacklist you from the real estate market and cause you the financial damage you have put on this person building his home. People like you have no place in our society and I hope you go broke when people boycott you as a realtor.

      • Mind Your Own Business permalink
        July 13, 2014 11:31 pm

        Is this the same Gail Wiesner profiled in today’s NYT article who is on a little jihad against her neighbors because she doesn’t share their taste in modern architecture? And this self-righteous b*tch wants to lecture us about “understanding other people’s points of view”? A prime example of someone who needs to STFU.

  3. Shiroi permalink
    September 24, 2009 6:10 pm

    Allow me to include in such a list the entirety of New York City – what morality can we expect from a city whose richest inhabitants have earned millions either by betting, stealing through legal means, or pretending to be a fictitious character? Special mention goes to the NY subway.

    Also, Brazilian funk, the most popular kind of music down here, is exactly like gangsta rap. Only with more drugs, hindquarter intercourse, and pedophilia.

    Other than that, nice list. Should be a reference for any new moderates and cynics.

    • Matty permalink
      September 30, 2010 4:44 pm

      Actually, they just work in NYC. They all live in Greenwich.

  4. Taliesin Knol permalink
    January 9, 2010 5:32 am

    Holocaust denial as crime in regards to free speech. Im in favor of telling idiots to shut the hell up, there are people who take that shit seriously! Remember the guy who shot the guard at the Holocaust memorial? And all the denial websites he visited? People can be dumb, they should blunt the sharp corners.

    • Taliesin Knol permalink
      January 9, 2010 5:34 am

      On second thought, Holocaust denial as abuse of Free Speech.

    • August 28, 2012 5:20 pm

      The great thing about free speech is that holocaust deniers have the freedom to spout their potentially-dangerous nonsense- and the rest of us to tell them they’re spewing out ahistorical rubbish and are therefore wrong.

  5. Taliesin Knol permalink
    January 9, 2010 5:35 am

    Keith Olberman, to be moderate, it’s impossible to be less balanced than Fox. At least he bitches about what Obama isn’t doing, enven if the praise is usually excessive…

  6. Linda Willis permalink
    August 29, 2010 6:22 am

    I mostly agree with this list except that after you take most of this with a huge grain of salt, I sometimes find Al Franken, Ann Coulter and Bill O’Reilly entertaining, funny and smart. You just need to consider the context. At least none of them is stupid!

    • August 29, 2010 8:18 pm

      Of course, Lenin wasn’t stupid, either. But you’re right that all three of the above are smart and entertaining, and I probably shouldn’t take them too seriously. Actually, Franken shouldn’t even be on the list at this point; I had expected him to be a snarky, polarizing force in the Senate, but I think he’s assumed his responsibilities responsibly enough.

  7. October 22, 2010 3:05 pm

    I think I’ll tattoo this hit list on my chest.

    • October 25, 2010 11:11 pm

      Correction:

      I’d exclude Richard Dawkins from the list. I don’t agree with everything he says, but the secular mindset almost always proves to be more beneficial in my opinion.

      • October 26, 2010 10:01 am

        greyfoot: Well, it’s your tattoo. I admire Dawkins for his intellect and courage, but he seems to relish his role as God-basher a little too much. It’s one thing to be a secularist, another to confidently dismiss God as a myth and mock the believers. Granted, the Bible is a mixture of truth and fiction, but that has no bearing on whether there’s a god (or some kind of mysterious intelligence) behind the workings of the universe. We just don’t know.

  8. October 26, 2010 6:00 pm

    That’s why I said “secular mindset,” Mr Bayan, as opposed to an atheist one. As my other comments have denoted, I am an atheist, but more importantly a secularist. Where I part company with Dawkins and Hitchens and a couple of other staunch atheists is that I’m not an “anti-theist.” I don’t feel that theism is a mental disease nor do I think that that particular metaphysical conclusion is harmful in and of itself. Would I chide Dawkins for suggesting that theists are dullards? Indeed I would. But I’m not so sure about his position on that. He’s said different things, even gone so far as to say that he actually doesn’t think that theists are stupid. Same with Hitchens, who has never made that insult. He simply questions the logic behind it, which is the onus of the honest inquisitor. But yes, I prefer to focus on the more tangible effects of religion on civilization and society, to which the above figures give as much time as to god.

  9. Ian Robertson permalink
    March 11, 2011 12:35 pm

    All great entries but at least one notable omission.

    How could you possibly leave Michael Moore of off this list? He has taken lying and self -aggrandizement to almost unheard of heights within his genre. He is the far left’s answer to Rush (and I don’t mean the rock band). Yeeech!

    So far you seem to have the best moderate site I’ve seen. Count me in, what time is the revolution?

    • March 11, 2011 12:58 pm

      Thanks for the high praise, Ian. And you’re absolutely right about my blatant oversight, which I plan to correct ASAP. Just goes to show you that even The New Moderate isn’t totally omniscient. (Just partially omniscient.) The revolution starts when the great silent middle wakes up… maybe we need to set the alarm.

  10. keddiekilowatt permalink
    March 23, 2011 12:16 pm

    Rick, I have come to your site due to the recommendation of my husband. This is definitely and interesting site. Unfortunately I am not as politically informed as I need to be. I don’t watch or listen to some of the people you have listed simply because I fine much of their babel ludicrous. With that said keep up the good work and I’ll keep reading.

    • March 24, 2011 8:45 pm

      Well, Keddie… good to know that there are some actual “New Moderate” couples out there. Those 3-way debates on the issues are a good place to start. And thank your husband for me!

  11. Ami permalink
    October 25, 2011 5:58 pm

    I agree with most of this list too! My favorite one is “political correctness”. But I think it applies to conservatives as well.

  12. October 19, 2012 1:14 pm

    I know you may or may not believe, but I feel I have to point out that making offhand remarks about what God allegedly doesn’t deserve does fall firmly into the “taking the Lord’s name in vain category.

  13. October 19, 2012 1:15 pm

    Otherwise, good list.

  14. Anonymous permalink
    January 15, 2013 12:34 am

    Although presumably out of the way for good now, we could also consider including the supremely smug Ron Paul on the list, guilty of considering himself a God on earth, and making it clear he’d be happy to see the country burn down for good as long as he got his way. Need I also mention he’s now a de facto traitor for pressing for secession (likely so he could seize control of any state that would break away and make himself king)?

  15. tommcgtx permalink
    March 15, 2013 3:25 pm

    Tea Party angry far right blah blah blah? No need to get angry about high taxes, out of control government, loss of individual freedom, right? You’re right, we should just lay down and compromise while they kill what’s left of the free market economy, trample on the Constitution, and regulate our energy industries to death, in the name of being “moderate”. And how exactly are they making the party “unsafe”? Are you gonna tow the leftist line that they are a bunch of racist, violent people when in fact there isn’t a shred of evidence to that effect? Methinks you try too hard to be a “moderate”.

    • March 16, 2013 11:53 pm

      What high taxes? What loss of individual freedom? Who’s killing the free market economy? (That “socialist” Obama bailed out the big banks.) Regulating the energy industries to death? Hell, we’re SUBSIDIZING them!

      I swear, the Tea Partiers are nothing less than delusional… you’ve been hypnotized by the elite establishment into swallowing their agenda hook, line and sinker. They use concepts like patriotism, freedom, religion and the American dream to snare middle-class folks and convince them that their interests are your interests. Wake up! The middle class is being destroyed as we speak, and it’s not because of high taxes. (We had much higher taxes back in the prosperous postwar decades.) It’s because the financial elite have rigged the system to boost their advantages. Call it the “trickle up” economy.

      • tommcgtx permalink
        March 18, 2013 11:36 am

        Quote from Mr. Obama “Under my plan, enregy rates will necessarily skyrocket”. They are trying to regulate the coal industry out of existence! Do I need to mention oil? They constantly say we are producing more oil, but that is oil on private lands, not on Federal lands! Do I need to mention Cap and Trade? What high taxes? Are you kidding me? The people who produce, the ones who create jobs and drive our economy, are paying all the tax burden, with new ones added all the time? The new taxes, er penalties, no wait, taxes in obamacare alone are enough to discourage economic activity! Tea Partiers are not delusional, and the “Elite” are the Progressives, both left and right, who constantly oppose them. Hence the myths of “Racism” and “Angry gun toting” propogated about them. What loss of individual freedom? Really? Your right to make your own healthcare decisions is going away. Your right to keep and bear arms, is slowly being eroded. Look at how they are treating the press, even though they are mostly complicit with this administration! They can now detain American citizens indefinately! Look at what they wanted to do with the dron strikes on American Citizens, on American soil! You say that “socialist” Obama bailed out the banks? Damn it, ever hear of Crony Capitalism or Corporatism? That’s what they do! Any time you hear of “partnerships” between corporations and government, run for the hills! THey favor these failing “Green” energy business, and punish others. They are trying to pick the winners and losers! Subsidizing these banks and other industries is Crony Capitalism, and it leads to no good. I really think you have the wrong idea about “Tea Partiers”. On a side note, I don’t even like terms like “middle class”. We’re Americans, all of us. These class distinctions are Marxist catagorizations to divide us into catagoties. It’s just a common phrase we use nowadayus, but Marx is where who comes from

  16. Anonymous permalink
    June 29, 2013 3:45 pm

    Guns? I don’t think it’s moderate to want to ban a constitutionally enshrined right. I’m sorry, but you lost credibility with me there. Even middle of the road Dems like myself and the president do not want to ban guns.

  17. Patriot & Proud permalink
    June 30, 2013 3:21 pm

    I do not agree with all you “hit list.” If you really want an effective “middle” movement you will need to be able to engage people representing both parties and all views. Otherwise, your potential growth will die and you movement will fall flat. The only way to play from the middle is be in the middle. The constitution so be the beginning and end of the argument. The middle needs to defend the constitution without bias the any particular group and fight to eliminate the greed and corruption in our government. Lets reject extremist in both parties where they infringe on the rights of citizens. If you really want to start a movement…this is the way to the hearts of the American Voter. I’m looking for fiscal conservatism and equal rights for all. This includes religious freedom and personal freedom. You can have religious freedom as it relates to the constitution, and still respect the rights of all other groups. Equality for all will win the day as long as it does not infringe on the rights of other. The constitution addresses the issue by separating church and state. Gays and atheists, Jews, Christians and Moslems, all have the right to their beliefs and should be afforded all these rights to the extent that they do not restrict the rights of others. This is the middle.

  18. Rowan permalink
    July 28, 2013 12:55 pm

    Reparations: using a very generous calculation which includes all blacks currently living in the US regardless of origin or connection to slavery (“recipients”) and all other residents of the US regardless of race (“payers”), and a grant of $25,000 to each recipient, every non-black person should pay $3,500. When my finances right themselves in a few months, I’ll donate $3,500 to some black education charity THEN WASH MY HANDS OF ANY CONCERN for the belligerent black masses in America.

  19. Anonymous permalink
    September 27, 2013 3:52 pm

    I agree with 98%.

  20. July 4, 2014 4:25 am

    I love this – except….Richard Dawkins. He’s a modern hero (for me) who has turned many thousands of people living in third-world countries such as mine away from religion and thus started the biggest skeptical movement in modern history (along with Harris, Dennet and HItchens) And he can call believers whatever he wants considering how many infidels have been killed by the religious in history and are still killed today. We atheists should be allowed a little backlash, especially since it’s just lectures and books, no?
    And he’s in the centre-left too. Not an extremist.

  21. Jim Creel permalink
    September 11, 2014 1:13 pm

    Rick, I really love your insights and the only thing I would add is that every one of us is different. I reviewed your list and found that I agree with much of it, even things that being on the liberal side of moderation, others might find surprising about me. And that’s OK. Reasonable tolerance is a part of moderation. We can agree to disagree and have reasoned debate point by point. Overall however, I think you are pretty close to the mark. I have been all over the map both politically and literally in my 58 years. I find you site an oasis from the shrill noise of righteous certainty coming from all quarters of modern life. I also recognize that I have a lot to learn still and have room for new information and changes of opinion. Thank you for your time and effort.

    • September 13, 2014 9:34 am

      Thanks, Jim. It’s not easy being a moderate (we’re always managing to offend somebody or other) — and we certainly don’t attract legions of rabid followers who want their biases confirmed. But we’re more essential than ever, and I’m glad you’re so open-minded. That’s the one thing that left/right ideologues aren’t.

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